Recently I read about that cranky high school teacher from Pennsylvania who wrote scathing blog posts about her students. I searched until I found an archive of her most offensive pages (which she had disabled shortly after being reprimanded by her school district). I was stunned by her ire and insensitivity. It was as if she’d forgotten she was teaching real young people with hearts beating inside.
See, it was not what she wrote that spellbound me. It was what her students wrote in response. It was reading through their hurt comments, left at the bottom of each page, that glued me to the screen. The teacher had said all she wanted was to have an outlet, a real voice. But what about her students’ voices? She gave those juniors in her English classes a dagger worse than Caesar received. Her victims reeled in astonishment to read her true feelings toward them. They had trusted her.
Et tu, Teacher? Oh, the betrayal.
Miss Pennsylvania should remember that her students’ voices are real too. We all should remember that our students are real. They are breathing. They are thinking. They are sometimes hurting. They are always hoping.
There is an indicting stack of index cards in a box in my garage. I’d collected them several years ago on the last day of school. I had asked a group of kids to take a card and write down something they wish their teachers knew. I told them not to add their names and to disguise their handwriting as best they could. I promised that I would seal the cards for a few years without looking at them so that I would not be able to guess which statement belonged to whom.
When I opened those cards, I shook my head sadly. There is so much longing in young hearts. Some teachers never see beyond the silly comments and faces students make. Teachers, do they have to stop being silly? Let them enjoy their childhood while they have it! Look at how much they want to please us, how much they want to trust us, how much they want to be trusted, how much they need us, and how much they want to be understood.
I WISH MY TEACHERS KNEW …
… how it feels to be blamed for someone else’s behavior.
… that some kids are nice in class and then mean when class is over.
… that I play the piano.
… what happens when they leave the room for a few minutes.
… that I am a good person and I have feelings.
… that I enjoy being at school because I am not happy at home.
… who I really am outside of school.
… why I get into so much trouble.
… what I truly believe in.
… about my serious loss.
… that when it’s really cold or really hot outside, we don’t want to go outside for recess because it’s no fun when you’re huddling like penguins in the corner or when you are sweating up a storm in the shade.
… that when they punish the whole class for something one kid did, the good kids feel hurt, and that one kid doesn’t even care, anyway.
… how hard it is for me right now.
… where I’ve been and where I want to go.
… my side of the story.
… that we need to express ourselves.
… that when I ask to go to the bathroom at the beginning of class, it is not because I didn’t hurry and go during passing periods. It is because it is uncomfortable for me to go when the other kids are in there and makes me feel nervous.
… that some of us go through a lot at home.
… how hard it is to keep up with your homework when your parents are getting a divorce.
… that we really do want to learn.
… that they lift me up.
… that sometimes I need more time to do things.
… that I have a hard time with work and I am struggling. I need help.
… that listening to us and helping us learn is more important than being on their computers.
… that it’s not all my fault.
… that we know they are lying when they say they are not going to tell anyone. They always tell our parents.
… that sometimes they are not much help.
… that I admire them more than they think.
… how nice I am, really.
… that I can be a better person one day. I always promise them that I won’t get into trouble again, but then I do, even after all we talked about. They think I still don’t listen so they don’t trust me. I hope they can see how hard I am trying to be a better person in the future.
… that they favor some kids and never let other kids show that they are great too.
… the real reason I was late to school every day.
… that the pencil makes my finger sore, and it hurts when I grip so hard and leaves hurting red marks on my fingers.
… that I am hated by 3/4 of the kids in this school.
… that sometimes I get bored in class, and it is not that the subject is boring. They are just presenting it in a kind of boring way.
… that I hate going to reading classes because it makes me feel stupid and different.
… that some of the stuff that they teach is difficult for me to understand.
… that my life is screwed up enough and them yelling at me is not helping at all.
… how much I enjoy being in their classes. Even if something is going on at home, I know my teachers will always be there for me, more than friends or family.
… how grateful I am to have them as my teachers.
… how supportive they are, how fun they are, how creative they are, and how much I will miss them next year.
… how it feels to be in sixth grade.