***
“For me, it’s ‘Thriller’ all the way, baby. That’s the American album. Sure, there’s his other stuff … ‘Off the Wall’, that’s good … but if you’re gonna buy something for a perfect music collection, trust me, you ain’t nothin’ if you ain’t got ‘Thriller.'”
***
“It’s wonderful to go down there. You have GOT to go down there. They have these copper faces.”
***
“NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! You NEVER listen to me!!” (said by a beautiful girl, who was pointing her finger in the face of a handsome guy as he stared straight ahead, walking … It didn’t look like he was listening.)
***
“Do you know of a Catholic church around here? I was going to try to catch a mass.”
***
“She was naked.”
“What?!”
“For real! Five minutes ago. I’m talking about–walking RIGHT HERE!–down Amsterdam Avenue, in just her shoes. Naked, as in, NAKED.”
***
“Here’s all you need to know: His family, they own BUSINESSES. Got me?” (said with eyebrows raised)
***
“Then he got up and left, just like that.”
“Are you serious?”
“I’m as serious as a heartbeat!”
***
“Register Democrats!! Register Democrats here!!”
***
“No, she’s not my best friend anymore! That’s it! She made me mad, and I ALREADY know what I’m gonna do to her a**!”
***
“I didn’t always like it. I would say I had to GROW into spicy.”
***
“She’s educated, this woman. A PhD! You should see her now. She wears these shirts with only one shoulder, and her hair is colored. I’m always thinking, ‘What’s this about?’ And she’s not that pretty.”
***
“You can’t fall on a walker.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, you can’t. That’s why old people use them. They keep you from falling.”
“Oh, she can still fall.”
“Really?”
“Yes. She can fall.”
(pause)
“Well … then I guess I’m glad she’s in a hospital, where somebody can pick her up.”
***
“There was so much food! Best reception I ever been to … chicken … roast beef … asparagus … iced tea … shredded carrots in this salad stuff … butter and a hot roll … oh! … and mashed potatoes. Then desserts. All you wanted. I never ate so good.”
“Tell me about the bride.”
“She was big.”
***
“When we talk on the phone and we are talking about MY life, I really enjoy it, but when he starts talking about himself and what is going on in his life … immediately I want him to stop. I am not interested in any of it. I don’t want to talk TO him, I want to talk AT him. I don’t like him, I just like his affirmation.”
***
“I would have helped you just then, but I knew you really wanted to do it by yourself.”
***
Homeless woman: “Oh, no!! Do NOT try to tell me that you slept beside her on the same bench all night and nothing happened!!”
Homeless man: “Uh … I … uh …”
***
(special thanks to Leah Hendricks for listening with me)