A big ‘bama thank you to the teachers and administrators in Muscle Shoals City Schools. What a great way to spend a professional development day — with you! Two favorite moments …
One: A sweet woman walked up to me after my presentation and extended her hand. “Jordan!” she bubbled in a lovely Southern accent, swamp-thick.
“Nice to meet you, Jordan!” I said as loudly, taking her hand.
“Diane!” she answered, putting her hand on her heart to indicate herself.
“Diane Jordan, then?!”
“What?! I’m just Diane, no Jordan!”
I am using exclamation points in excess here to convey that we were both smiling continuously and speaking with robust volume. You have never seen two happier or more confidently confused people in all your life.
“Hi, Diane! So you want me to sign this book for a friend, To Jordan?!”
“Who’s Jordan?” she asked, still grinning.
It was then that the thoroughly-entertained woman next to us said, “Bless your heart! Nika, let me translate this into Texan for you. Diane never said Jordan. She said ‘Joyed it!”
“‘Joyed it!” Diane effused again. “That’s how you say ‘I enjoyed it’ here in Mush-Shoals. And that, by the way, is how you say Muscle Shoals!”
We laughed together, and she left. Then, moments later, another woman walked up to me and said, “Jordan.”
I said, “Thank you so much! I enjoyed being here too!”
We stood there looking at each other for a second or two. She was expecting something. Finally, she repeated herself with a somewhat serious expression, “Um, so … can you please sign my book, To Jordan?”
I almost fell out.
And favorite moment number two: My
speech began with a confession that, though I try to look like I have it all together, I am clumsy at times, and not nearly as smooth as I’d like to be. The last teacher to walk up and greet me after the presentation said, “Nika, you are smooth! Don’t you ever think you aren’t!”
For one minute I believed her, so convincing was her voice. One, glorious minute. Then I reached to remove the lapel microphone from my shirt collar and its receiver from my back pocket. That’s when I realized the wire had somehow been zipped up into my fly the entire speech.
No, ma’am, I am not smooth. But I mean well, bless my heart.