In May, I was enjoying lunch with a friend when there was a sudden flash of light in my left eye. It felt like a quiet pop, like a rubber band gently snapping. Then all I could see was black and white “TV snow.” A warm wave of adrenaline washed from my head down to my feet, and five minutes later, my vision returned.
I was fine until July. At that time, I noticed a brown-red blindspot in my left eye, a little left of center. It looked like a muddy thumbprint had been smudged on my glasses. Except I wasn’t wearing glasses.
On July 27, I woke up and asked the Lord for some encouragement because I was finally going to see a doctor about my vision. I happened upon Psalm 112:6-7 and knew it was the encouragement I’d asked for: “Surely the righteous will never be shaken … They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting the Lord. Their hearts are secure; they will have no fear.”
As soon as I read it, I sensed I was going to hear bad news at the doctor, but that I should take heart and not fear it. After I sat down in the chair at my appointment, I took this photograph and posted it on Instagram with the Scripture God had given me.
My ophthalmologist did an eye scan, and the distorted image was disturbing to me. I knew what I saw was not the way an eye was supposed to look. The doctor explained that the flash of light I’d seen in May was my retina tearing away, and the blind spot was the retinal damage growing. He said nothing could be done because even if they tried to fix it with surgery, it would happen again and get worse until I eventually lost all useful vision in that eye. Ultimately, he made an appointment for me to see a specialist but said it didn’t really matter because that specialist would give me the same prognosis. With my history of lupus, any significant eye procedure is not a good idea. That was a Wednesday.
On Sunday, July 31, I went forward for prayer at church, and a pastor and his wife prayed earnestly about my eye. They asked God to reverse the retinal tear, and that I would get a good report from the retina specialist that week. I can’t explain the peace I felt. I just knew God was going to heal my eye.
On Tuesday, August 2, I went to the retina specialist, and he took a scan that was almost exactly the same as the first. He said, “This will either continue to get worse and eventually you will lose vision OR maybe … it could get better by itself. I don’t think anything needs to be done. Come back in one month for another scan, and we will see how fast the damage is occurring.”
I thought, wait! There’s my good report, hidden inside a bad report! He said it would heal itself and nothing needs to be done!
And so I said to him, “In one month we will find that my eye is healing by itself, like you just said! I am praying about it, and that is what is going to happen.”
He said, “Maybe. We’ll see. But you should know this. This kind of injury is only caused by two things: one reason is a side effect of a medicine that you don’t even take and the other reason is emotional stress. Emotional stress always shows up in the eyes. Have you been under emotional stress this year? If so, you have GOT to let it go. Your vision depends on it.”
Is that a spiritual truth, or what? Emotional stress is a choice. Sure, emotional stress comes, unbidden, but God always offers us a chance to exchange it for peace. “Don’t worry about anything;” Philippians 4:6-7 reads, “instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
If we are experiencing emotional stress, we have GOT to let it go and give it to God. Our “vision” depends on it.
As I left the retina specialist that day, I posted this picture on Instagram.
For the month until my second appointment, I continued to pray and say Proverbs 20:12 over myself: “The hearing ear and the seeing eye — the Lord God made them both.” I kept repeating the good part of the report that the doctor had said, not the bad part of the report. I covered my left eye with my hand every time I worshiped, thanking Him for what He was doing deep inside!
On Thursday, September 1, it was time for my follow up scan. It showed that the the tear was reduced! The white spot of critical damage is gone, and the red and yellow indications of damage are smaller. I cheered when the doctor showed me. He just smiled and said, “Well, I guess it was good news this time. But I need you to come back in two months for another scan and we’ll make sure it has still continued in the right direction.”
I said, “Oh, it is going to continue in the right direction, for sure!”
The Lord is unfailing and true. Faithfulness is His character. We can have faith that when we approach Him, He hears us. Yes, His ways and thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts, but we can count on the fact that His sovereign mind is fueled by a loving heart. Sometimes He heals immediately, and sometimes He doesn’t. Whether or not He heals, He always hears. Approach Him confidently for your healing today, and trust that, not only can He do the impossible … He is willing to do the impossible if we ask.
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